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Twiggy

October 2010

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Oct. 10th, 2010

Twiggy

I was in, but I got out.

From an alternate journal, dated Wednesday, June 23, 2010.

Eating Disorder Inpatient Experience - June 2010Collapse )

Just so you know.

May. 1st, 2010

Sylvia Plath

Dear Body.

Dear Body,

I'm sorry for the past ten years.

I'm sorry for the years that I spent hating you.
Depriving you.
I'm sorry for the promises that I made to you and broke,
Promises to treat you better.

I'm sorry for the years I've spent teasing you,
Feeding you
But never leaving it inside of you to digest.

I'm sorry for hating you
When I couldn't feel the bones of you
Poking through the skin of you
And feeling all of the fat on you;
Not understanding you
Or the way you were supposed to work.

I'm sorry for never taking the time
To learn about you,
Automatically assuming that just because I woke up in the morning
You were fine physically,
Thereby excusing, perhaps justifying my behavior,
Despite feeling ashamed of your outward appearance
That I've spent my whole life building up against you.

I am sorry for the years that you've been exhausted
But still I kept going, going, going,
Exercising, exercising, exercising.
Punishing you for what you didn't do,
Punishing you for my own mistakes,
Blaming them all on you.

I am sorry for the scar that marks my left arm,
The word "fat", now faded,
But still brown and outstanding against the rest
Of my yellow skin.

I am sorry for being so critical,
Arms.
Even though you still lift things just fine,
You still give and receive.
I could be paralyzed,
Unable to feel anything,
And that's probably what I deserve.
But you still work
And I thank you.

I am sorry for being so critical,
Legs.
Even though you still get me where it is
That I need to go.
I could be in a wheelchair,
Unable to walk anywhere,
And that's probably what I deserve.
But you still work
And I thank you.

I am sorry for being so critical,
Belly.
What can I say as you were the biggest target
Of my abuse?
Except that you still work
And I thank you.

I've treated you like a curse.
I've lived with you with much dislike
And with no satisfaction.
I've taken you for granted,
Controlled you in all the wrong ways,
Never thinking twice,
Never noticing how tolerant,
How patient,
Or how strong you've been
Under the reign of my stupidity.

Years of
Starvation.
Bingeing.
Purging.
Exercising.
Diet Pills.
Laxatives.
And diuretics.

And yet you still work.

You've continued to work
Long enough for me
To realize
That I need help.

I will do this for you.
I will repay you.

But most of all,
I thank you.

Sincerely,
Hilary

(May 1, 2010)

Nov. 6th, 2009

Twiggy

Eating Disorder Treatment Resources

A list of websites that I hope may aid someone in finding the help they need.

Helpful Websites:
National Eating Disorders Association
Something Fishy
Mercy Ministries
Remuda
Recovery and Resources for Eating Disorders
FREED Foundation
The Joy Project
Project Heal Foundation
MSN Eating Disorder Self-Help Support
Refeeding Syndrome Information

Inexpensive Treatment Options:
ANRED

Georgia Clinics/Eating Disorder Specialists:
Georgia Referrals
Ridgeview Institute
Manna
Manna Scholarship Fund
Eating Disorders Anonymous

Jul. 21st, 2008

Twiggy

First post, for what it's worth.



A Free TasteCollapse )